Bring Back the Hippies?

*Disclaimer: This post is in no way an endorsement of hippies, their political affiliations, or their smelly-haired, pot-smoking lifestyles.

Good. Now that we have that out of the way, let's get down to the real issue at hand. I miss the good old days of walking into a Starbucks and only having to suffer the disapproving stares of the unshaven, dread locked hippie sitting in the corner munching on a muffin, sipping the trendy coffee drink of the week made with nothing but fair-trade coffee beans, and pretend-reading a Chomsky book while scribbling down "notes" on a tattered piece of notebook paper from circa 1997. That I can deal with.

What I can not deal with is the new crowd found at your local Starbucks store. You know who I'm talking about. I can not go in to Starbucks or any other respectable coffee caffeine distribution center without seeing this illusive creature. Of course, I'm talking about the North Face clad, "Jackie O." sunglasses bespectacled, pastel-colored knock-off Ugg boot wearing sorority girl wannabe (read whore). Let's not forget her love for all sweatpants with something ridiculous scrawled across the ass no matter how ridiculous she might look. While ordering her delicious coffee she must also be talking on her gaudy, gold Motorola Razr and simultaneously texting her "bff" on her Palm Treo.

Let's get something straight Ms. Trend Whore, you're not in New York or LA and if you were you would most assuredly be ridiculed by far more talented word smiths than myself.

As much as this is an indictment of your sense of style it is far more a critique of your attitude that because of your obvious importance to society your needs take precedence over all others. Look, just because daddy says you're number one in his universe doesn't mean that you are actually number one in the real world.

Perhaps I should find a more out-of-the-way coffee house where only the hippest of hipsters and hippies hang their hats.